"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."


so MAYBE i havent been able to go out as much as i would like to
and MAYBE i dont have the kind of freedom i want
and MAYBE i have a ton of work to do

but you know what?

at the end of the day
if i had to use one word to describe my life right now
it would be:
WONDERFUL

i think that MAYBE
the storm is finally over

i found my pretty rainbow
at last
and i couldnt be any happier than i am right now

People say, love comes and goes
But they don't understand what they don't know
'Cause what I feel starts deep inside
It's kinda like a seed that springs into life

They say, it's not right and we move too fast
But they don't know the meaning of what we have

Wherever it is, I'll fly
Whatever it takes, I'll try
So don't pay no mind to whatever people say
Whenever it is in my life
Know that I will be on time
'Cause you know why there's no standing in our way

When you're far and we're apart
I'm really missing you, I wanna be where you are

They say, it's not right and it won't last
No point believing what we have

Wherever it is, I'll fly
Whatever it takes, I'll try
So don't pay no mind to whatever people say
Whenever it is in my life
I'll be on time
'Cause you know why there's no standing in my way

And if you're lost, I'm gonna find you
'Cause without you I'll break down and cry
And you know why I wanna surround you
With all my love

Is, I'll fly
It takes, I'll try
Pay no mind to what other people say
In my life be on time
You know why there's no standing in our way

Wherever it is, I'll fly
Whatever it takes, I'll try
Pay no mind to what other people say
Whenever it is in my life
Know that I will be on time
Because you know why there's no standing in my way

they walk out out of the theatre
talking and laughing the way they usually do
but in a heartbeat
something in his expression changes
he starts pacing up and down
she sees the panic in his face

but why?

and then she sees the other girl
brief glances
awkward introductions

why are we even here?

he takes her hand in his
and looks over to give a triumphant grin
the other girl
she smiles
she takes the hand of the other boy 
and they turn to walk away 

the boy's triumphant smile fades
only to be replaced by a look of defeat
the light leaves his eyes
and in that moment
she felt her heart shatter to a million pieces

she knew she had lost him
the possiblity of the fact that 
she may never have had him in the first place
was too painful to swallow

why am i still here?

she knew
she knew she should walk away
she had every right to
and yet she stayed
waited for him to rip her heart into another million pieces
before she decided that enough was enough
that it was time to take back what what was hers
her dignity?pride?self worth?

and that was when she promised herself
that she would never ever
set herself up to get hurt that way 

never again. 

"you think i WANT to control YOU?
YOU?of all people?
the biggest loser of this family?
WHY??"

"after this sem you're on your own"

FML

one step forward
two steps back
for fucking forever

FUCK

how can you NOT love this guy!?

<3

dbl o with the friends the other day was AWESOMEEE
haha
and so
with much regret
that was my lastttttt party day
at least till my term break ):
i am SO GONNA MISS PARTYING WITH YOU GUYS
giving THIS up
SUCKS
but
i think that i've been using alcohol
and excessively loud music
as a crutch to deal with my problems
for waaayyy too long
time to be a big girl
and learn to handle my stress
in a more mature way
as much as as i've loved
every minute of the last couple of months
going back to school
is something that i need to do
ive got alot to prove
ESP to him
its do or die
i HAVE to do well
if for no other reason
its just to shut him up
i'm SICK of this shit
time to do something about it

dont worry party licia isnt dead
i'm just going to keep her in a tiny box temporarily
REST ASSURED
she'll be out again before you know it (:

<3


this made me go AWWW
*meltmeltmelt

I think
above all else
I'm scared

terribly.

i started watching the whose line is it vids on you tube yest
cause of serena
HAHAHAHAH
omg it totally made my day!















hahaha steven colbert!


hope this cheers you guys up if you're feeling down! (:

 

                   "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, 
                                        love someone else"

okay
so i FINALLY have some time to write
about happy stuff now
aside from you-know-what
i've been having an awesome few weeks
DS is backk
so i think everyone is superr happy bout that!
i know i am (:

met the girls for dinner last tuesday! (:
and the first half of the week was lovelyyy

MONDAY
went to catch public enemies with dsss
it was SUPER SUPER SUPER AWESOME
even if the movie sucked
just the presence of johnny depp would
make it omg-worthy
HAHAHA :P
but it was really good!
(i still havent finished writing my review
i'm working on it now eeps!)
then after the movie we went walking aroundd
and we went to tcc for supper!
(i think it was tcc anyway i cant seem to remember!)
but anyway supper was REALLY good
and very much needed
cause we had timee to talk about
everything and anything
friends/work/school/boys/etc
and and and
the cakeee was gorgeoussss <3
haha i'm such a sucker for food





TUESDAY
met ds and rosie and jessie for lunch
before i had to run off for work!
ds and her random impulses to buy
stuff like cute bumpy stickers
never fails to amaze all of us
hahaha


WEDNESDAY
was fun fun fun!
went to butterrr with ds and perry! <3
daryl came along too!
HAHA you know they almost didnt let me into butter!
(cause they're having temperature checks outside butter)
and my temperature was like 38.0! >:(
the guy took my temp like 5 times!
before it read like 37.6
thank god for that
i would have been super annoyed if i had to go home
cause i'm not even sick!
anyway you know how i ALWAYS stay in BUMP
when i go to butter
but FASH was playing some pretty good music on wed toooo ^_^
btw you should totally see perry do the hand actions
for katy perry's hot n cold
omggg so superrr cuteee!haha <3






i was reading jessie's entry on how
the kind of happiness hanging out with the girls brings
is just simply indescribable
and you know what
its so true
no matter how old we get
no matter how much we grow
whenever we get together
its a chance to revert back to our old selves
and be carefree and genuinely happy
its one of those things that are just truly irreplacable


<3

"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you
and trusting him not to"


a very very very good friend of mine said something the other day
that really stuck in my head

she said:
i cant use the word love anymore.
i thought i knew what love was
i thought i was in love once before
and guess what?
i found out i was wrong
and now
i just cant use the word love anymore

couldnt have been said any better

some scars
you just know
will never ever go away

we forgive
maybe we eventually move on
but we never forget

I had such an awesome night clowning around with the girls today
Then
When I got home
Everything just went downhill after that
I feel like absolute crap
I want to scream
I want to bash my head up against a wall
I want to be anywhere but here right now
I don't want to have to make decisions that are THIS TOUGH
FML
I bloody give up
It's too hard

i'm in the office now
was listening to this on youtube
this song never fails to make me want to cry








And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out